Mark's Movie Reviews

[marklawrence]

I'll be reviewing rental movies now too, as I'm only allowed three theater movies a month, and this is the season where the movie pickings get a bit slim. Also, frankly, I find I'm a little burned out on movies.

The Death of Stalin

I found this movie difficult to follow. Furthermore, the depictions of many of the top Soviet officials - Kruschev, Malenkov, Beria - was as clowns. I'm pretty sure for all of Kruschev's failings, he was not a clown. I was hoping to learn something of the history of the USSR during this critical period, but I was mostly just bored. After the fact I learned it was a "comedy." It wasn't. And I don't know how you turn the upheaval of the leadership of the soviets into a comedy.

Maybe eastern europeans like it. They have a very different sense of humor.

A joke which eastern europeans think is the funniest joke ever, and which I barely get:

Capitalism is like being in a locked room, trying to catch a frightened cat.
Socialism is just like capitalism, but the lights are turned off.
Communism is just like socialism, but there is no cat.

[marklawrence]

The Humanity Bureau

I like Nicolas Cage, but he makes a lot of movies, and many are, um, thin. This movie was direct-to-dvd. It was thin. It would have bombed at the box office, it's really not an $11 evening. It's about the future where you have to be "productive" or you get sent to the soylent green camps. Nicholas falls for a rather cute unproductive girl and tries to save her. There's an obligatory plot twist or two, but it's just not quite enough.

[ricky]

Saw "Blindspotting" at the budget cinema for $1.44. It was worth it, though $11 would have left me angry. Interesting slice of life, but no real resolution. The movie just kind of meandered along, tried to have some social commentary which I found muddled. Though being an old white guy who has always had enough to be happy, I didn't really get the message. So, some of Oakland's neighorhoods are "gentrifying". Pushing out poorer, black residents and bringing in rich hipsters/yuppies. This is bad because then the bad old neighborhoods are being replaced by better neighborhoods. There is also a sub-story about a police shooting, and a young black girl who is apparently being trained to be a fighter. Not trying to improve her mind, but constantly pushing the idea of being tough, fighting and being violent. Who knows, maybe she'll end up in the MMA.

[marklawrence]

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS (review from Rotten Tomatoes)

They may look like the puppets your kids see on Sesame Street, made of colorful felt with sweet faces and kind, googly eyes. But be warned: The characters in The Happytime Murders aren't here to teach your kids their ABCs and 1-2-3s. They're too busy having s*x, drinking in hot tubs and starring in p*rn videos. And they're brought to you by the letter F, over and over again. That's the gimmick in this extremely hard-R comedy: Seemingly wholesome characters take part in unspeakably unwholesome activities. It's a vaguely amusing idea and not much more. The Happytime Murders is a one-joke movie, and that joke gets beaten into the ground (as do several characters, people and puppet alike). Among the human actors in this raunchy film-noir send-up are Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, and Elizabeth Banks, all of whom are game for anything.

[OneTwoSixFive]

Happytime Murders sounds vaguely like a modern version of the old X-Rated cartoon 'Fritz the Cat' (1972) - director Bakshi's feature-film debut, which was then followed by several other copycat X-Rated animations.

[ricky]

Happytime Murders sounds vaguely like a modern version of the old X-Rated cartoon 'Fritz the Cat' (1972) - director Bakshi's feature-film debut, which was then followed by several other copycat X-Rated animations.

The film was directed by Brian Henson, Jim's son. He decided to make the Muppet like creatures crude, lewd and low lifes. That was strike one for me. That it was generally hated by critics (Rotten Tomatoes: critics, 23%; audiences, 45%). Strike three? It stars Melissa McCarthy, who has been rehashing the same character since her debut in "Bridesmaids".

[Bignutz]

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS (review from Rotten Tomatoes)

They may look like the puppets your kids see on Sesame Street, made of colorful felt with sweet faces and kind, googly eyes. But be warned: The characters in The Happytime Murders aren't here to teach your kids their ABCs and 1-2-3s. They're too busy having s*x, drinking in hot tubs and starring in p*rn videos. And they're brought to you by the letter F, over and over again. That's the gimmick in this extremely hard-R comedy: Seemingly wholesome characters take part in unspeakably unwholesome activities. It's a vaguely amusing idea and not much more. The Happytime Murders is a one-joke movie, and that joke gets beaten into the ground (as do several characters, people and puppet alike). Among the human actors in this raunchy film-noir send-up are Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, and Elizabeth Banks, all of whom are game for anything.

Hmmm, disappointing, was looking forward to this one. I liked the previews. Guess I’ll wait for cable on this one.

[marklawrence]

A Simple Favor

A black comedy / who done it / what did they do.

Anna Kendricks is ms.perfect mom, cooking, volunteering, and has a vlog for moms. Blake Lively is a driven working mom, they meet when their sons become friends at school and want a play date. Anna and Blake start hanging out, having 5pm martinis at 3:30, and exchanging secrets as besties. Then Blake calls Anna with an emergency, asks her to pick up the boys, she'll be by later. Then Blake disappears.

Lots of plot twists, you're really not at all sure what's going on until the very end, and even then you're a little fuzzy on a few details. I thought it was really good, and it would make a great date night movie - your wife will love it.

[ricky]

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS (review from Rotten Tomatoes)

They may look like the puppets your kids see on Sesame Street, made of colorful felt with sweet faces and kind, googly eyes. But be warned: The characters in The Happytime Murders aren't here to teach your kids their ABCs and 1-2-3s. They're too busy having s*x, drinking in hot tubs and starring in p*rn videos. And they're brought to you by the letter F, over and over again. That's the gimmick in this extremely hard-R comedy: Seemingly wholesome characters take part in unspeakably unwholesome activities. It's a vaguely amusing idea and not much more. The Happytime Murders is a one-joke movie, and that joke gets beaten into the ground (as do several characters, people and puppet alike). Among the human actors in this raunchy film-noir send-up are Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, and Elizabeth Banks, all of whom are game for anything.

Hmmm, disappointing, was looking forward to this one. I liked the previews. Guess I’ll wait for cable on this one.

Well, that didn't take long. "The Happytime Murdrers" was released August 24. It arrived in our local budget cinema today. Any questions about the movie's failure to launch can be found in the following video. WARNING: SPOILERS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24ftxaHPrso

[marklawrence]

Searching

John Cho is a good Korean dad with a teenage Korean daughter who takes AP courses and plays the piano. Mom dies of cancer and it all goes sideways. Then the daughter calls from a friends house, she'll be there all night studying. She never comes home. Dad gets into her laptop and finds in social media that he doesn't actually know his daughter all that well. Now the race is on: What happened? Can they find her? Before she's dead? Or worse. . .

Debra Messing, who I don't like so well due to her outspoken far left political views, plays the police detective who's assigned to this case.

Lots of twist and turns in this movie and a completely unexpected ending.

It's quite good.

[marklawrence]

The House with a Clock in the Walls

Jack Black is Uncle Jon, a warlock. He becomes the guardian of Lewis when Lewis' parents die in a car crash. Cate Blanchett is his neighbor, a witch. Kyle McLaughlin is a (dead) evil warlock who planted a clock in the walls of the house - they must find the clock and stop it or "it would be bad."

It's a reasonably fun movie, but the magic is a cheat: there's no rhyme or reason to it, what ever you want to happen it seems you can just make it happen. Or not. I find this aspect of magical tales unsettling: since there are no rules, you can write yourself out of any corner with a spell. Which corner you likely got into due to a lack of a spell. This is the one part of Harry Potter I didn't like: you have to memorize the exact (latin) wording and wand work or the feather blows up in your face. Who figured it out first? And after blowing up how many feathers? And what does it mean when Dumbledore knows the "theory of magic" and can invent new spells? And only Voldemort and his followers can fly like smoke, but not a one of them can produce a petronus? Annoying.

I don't think this movie is worth $10, but if you have kids I suppose it's a good rental for an evening.

[marklawrence]

Siberia

Keanu Reeves stars as a diamond smuggler working a deal gone bad. Early in the movie he's jumped by a couple drunk Russians, and they kick his ass. This is not the Matrix. He wanders around Russia jumping back and forth between siberia and st.petersburg, having run-ins with the russian mob and the fsb. And somewhere in there falling in love with a russian girl who is, um, not his wife.

It's a pretty strange movie. C.

[marklawrence]

The catcher was a spy

This is the true story of Moe berg, a Jewish catcher for the red Sox. He was also a Princeton graduate, had a law degree and was a member of the bar, and spoke about fifteen languages, six or eight of them fluently.

During WW II it became clear that Werner Heisenberg - the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, invented quantum mechanics - was working in the field of nuclear fission for the Germans. Moe joined the oss and volunteered to track down Heisenberg, figure out if he was making a bomb, and kill him if he was.

By far the most unrealistic part of the movie is that Moe's girlfriend is the delicious Siena Miller, and he leaves her to wander around wartime Italy. Just off the top of my head I'm not sure there's anyone I leave Siena Miller for, and neither war time Italy nor Werner make the grade.

There's a really kewl part where Connie Neilson, wonder woman's mom and a Dane in real life, gets in Werner's face at a dinner and accuses him of making a bomb for the Nazis with utter disregard for the lives of everyone else in Europe. Connie is old enough that I'm sure she's heard detailed stories of the Nazi occupation of Denmark, and she plays her role with great sincerity.

It's a historically interesting movie. The drama is perhaps a bit thin.i give it a B-.

True facts: Feynman once said to me, "I read Heisenberg's original paper and I have no idea what he's talking about." That got me interested so I read it too. I'm prefectly competent with quantum mechanics, and I couldn't understand any of Heisenberg's paper.

Heisenberg had horrible allergies, so in the spring he told summerfeld he was going north for a few weeks. When he came back he said, "I've got it! I can calculate the entire hydrogen spectrum! There's just one thing, I had to assume that pq - qp = h. What doesn't commute?" Summerfeld said, "I don't know, but next week I'm going to England and I'll see that clever fellow Dirac. Come along and we'll ask him." When they got to England they asked Dirac and he said "matrixes." they asked, "what's a matrix?" Nobel prizes all around a couple years later.

[marklawrence]

I won't  be seeing Holmes and Watson. It's sophomoric slapstick and I don't find that funny at all. Furthermore, I like the books and I love Cumberbatch's Holmes, so I find this a bit degrading and insulting. I'm really not at all a will Ferris fan.

[Bignutz]

The catcher was a spy

This is the true story of Moe berg, a Jewish catcher for the red Sox. He was also a Princeton graduate, had a law degree and was a member of the bar, and spoke about fifteen languages, six or eight of them fluently.

During WW II it became clear that Werner Heisenberg - the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, invented quantum mechanics - was working in the field of nuclear fission for the Germans. Moe joined the oss and volunteered to track down Heisenberg, figure out if he was making a bomb, and kill him if he was.

By far the most unrealistic part of the movie is that Moe's girlfriend is the delicious Siena Miller, and he leaves her to wander around wartime Italy. Just off the top of my head I'm not sure there's anyone I leave Siena Miller for, and neither war time Italy nor Werner make the grade.

There's a really kewl part where Connie Neilson, wonder woman's mom and a Dane in real life, gets in Werner's face at a dinner and accuses him of making a bomb for the Nazis with utter disregard for the lives of everyone else in Europe. Connie is old enough that I'm sure she's heard detailed stories of the Nazi occupation of Denmark, and she plays her role with great sincerity.

It's a historically interesting movie. The drama is perhaps a bit thin.i give it a B-.

True facts: Feynman once said to me, "I read Heisenberg's original paper and I have no idea what he's talking about." That got me interested so I read it too. I'm prefectly competent with quantum mechanics, and I couldn't understand any of Heisenberg's paper.

Heisenberg had horrible allergies, so in the spring he told summerfeld he was going north for a few weeks. When he came back he said, "I've got it! I can calculate the entire hydrogen spectrum! There's just one thing, I had to assume that pq - qp = h. What doesn't commute?" Summerfeld said, "I don't know, but next week I'm going to England and I'll see that clever fellow Dirac. Come along and we'll ask him." When they got to England they asked Dirac and he said "matrixes." they asked, "what's a matrix?" Nobel prizes all around a couple years later.

Loved that guy in "Breaking Bad"